Andy Todd’s Juniors Jukebox Durie presents…Sun Dog

Don’t forget the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast. Subscribe/download/listen HERE

By Andy Todd (@toddandy)

Jukebox Durie is our weekly review of the best (and the worst) Scottish football songs.Growing up in the Western Isles I had no idea that junior football was not Junior Mendes’s soccer mad cousin. For me, Junior Football meant the U11 primary school league of waifs, strays and unlicensed toe pokes. Our U11 league was special because the year I played, a girl called Moira decided she would do her bit for equality of the sexes by joining the Sandwick School midfield. For female readers, I am certain that the fact Sandwick lost every game 12 – 0 and didn’t score a goal all season was not a result of Moira’s decision to play with the boys. But, if I’m being honest, it really didn’t help. Even her team wouldn’t pass to her, afraid that if they did, they would grow up gay.

We were not an enlightened community.

But, for those brought up on the West Coast, Junior Football meant only one thing: the annual bar brawl known as the OVD (now Emirates) Junior Cup Final.

Tags: Andy Todd, Auchinleck Talbot, Bryan Slavin, Emirates, football, Inverness, Junior Cup Final, Junior Football, Music, Neil Young, OVD, Scottish Comedy FC, Shotts Bon Accord, Sun Dog, western isles

Iain Todd is Under the Moon.

The newest of the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast is out now. Subscribe/download/listen HERE

By Iain Todd (@iainmacivertodd)

The BBC apologised recently when footage from a wildlife documentary was revealed as fake. That is shocking! If you can’t rely on the BBC then who can you trust. I’m not sure whether I believe any BBC show now. I doubt whether Jool’s Hollands Hootenanny is actually recorded on Hogmanay.

Hogmanay should be spent drunk. You should overpay for food, booze and taxis. All for a night, everyone will agree, that only reached the giddy heights of “alright”. If you don’t go out then you are stuck watching the afore mentioned Jools or Jackie Bird looking like a recently divorced woman who has just discovered wine comes in boxes.

One Hogmanay year was different. The greatest football/sports phone-in program of all time was on and it was live from Glasgow. It was “Under the Moon”.

Tags: Ally McCoist, comedy, football, Iain Todd, Scottish comedy, Scottish Comedy FC, Scottish football, under the moon

Andy Todd’s Jukebox Durie offers some consolation Glory Glory for Hibs fans…

Don’t forget the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast. Subscribe/download/listen HERE

By Andy Todd (@toddandy)

Jukebox Durie is our weekly review of the best (and the worst) Scottish football songs. Last week we featured the Hibs song and pointed to its remarkable similar tune to the Hearts song. (It was written by the same man, in case you didn’t read the article).

This week the mystery deepens. Neil McKenzie (@neilmackenzie5) tweeted us to point out that not only do the Hearts and Hibs songs soundalike, they also sound just like Glory Glory Man Utd.
Glory Glory To the Hibees song:

Tags: Andy Todd, comedy, football, Football songs, Glory Glory, Glory Glory Leeds United, Glory Glory Man United, Glory Glory to the Hibees, Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur, Jukebox Durie, Leeds Utd, Man Utd, Scottish Comedy FC, Spurs, Tottenham Hotspur

Iain Todd says there is no excuse for “Only An Excuse”

Editor’s Note: Having been a writer & script editor on the show mentioned below, don’t let anybody say that Scottish Comedy FC blocks free speech from it’s writers! What it does do though is point out that the writer’s views are their own personal views…

The newest of the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast is out now. Subscribe/download/listen HERE

By Iain Todd (@iainmacivertodd)

Congratulations to Chelsea who became the first club from London to win the European Cup. The big talking point of the game wasn’t the missed penalties, the negativity of Chelsea’s play or how stunning Chelsea’s physio is. On that note do check out Eva Carneiro on Google. I’ve currently got a groin strain and I’m sure she is the cause and cure of it.

The big talking point was John Terry, suspended for the final and forced to sit in the stand, turning up at the end on the pitch in his strip to collect the trophy. He should be ashamed of himself for stealing the glory from his team mates but he is a a man who [allegedly. Ed.] steals girlfriends from his team mates so shame is not a feeling he pays much attention to.

Tags: BBC, comedy, football, hogmanay, Iain Todd, only an excuse, Scottish comedy, Scottish Comedy FC, Scottish football

Richard Hunter’s Cup Final Diary…

Don’t forget the Scottish Comedy FC Podcast. Subscribe/download/listen HERE

By Richard Hunter

Its going to be difficult to write this, post-Cup Final and knowing the score, without removing most of the hope and optimism that I’m sure I was feeling for most of Saturday. But I thought, as they do on the BBC website, that I would give you a timeline of my Cup Final weekend.

Wednesday 16th

I’ve just come of stage in Darlington and realised that there is a bloody Cup Final this weekend….. aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh!

The last month has been leading up to a nationwide comedy competition held in Darlington, which I was fortunate/unfortunate enough to be invited to take part. My focus has been entirely on that and not on the spectacle this weekend. Having done the gig and then had an audience member tell me I was “f**king hilarious but just not quite Russell Kane enough” for him, I cant help but think “Why did I come here?”

If nothing else it served as a welcome distraction and something to focus my nerves on instead of the game.

Thursday 17th

Well, it’s one day closer and now the only thing I have to take my mind off the Cup Final is deciding which suitcase I should take to Glasgow for the weekend ( I settled on the Green edged one).
I’ve just been to place a bet on the game tooo. Darren Barr to score first and Hearts to win 5-1 at odds of 1000-1 (OK, that’s clearly a lie, but who would have placed THAT bet??) I did place a bet. Blackpool to gain promotion and Chelsea to win on penalties in the Champions League Final. £432 back if that comes in (Leave it! I’m laughing at the irony of Vaz Te scoring the winner as much as you are).

Tags: 5-1, @Tricky308, Hampden, Hibernian. Salt n Sauce Final, Hibs, Ian Murray, James McPake, Leigh Griffiths, Pa Kujabi, Pat Fenlon, Richard Hunter, Rudi Skacel, ScotComFC, Scottish Comedy FC, Scottish Cup Final, Steven Fletcher